Comfort
by Calie1
Summary: After a hard mission Alex find comfort in the only person that can provide it.


Note: This is my first Nikita fic. I really like Alex/Thom together, so I'm a bit disappointed there really aren't many fics for them. Of course I realize this is a new show. Hopefully they will get a stronger following. I'm a fic whore. I'm all for inspiring someone to write some. Please leave reviews, I could be persuaded to write more.

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Her body shook, chest heaved, brow cooling with the sweat that she had broken out in an hour ago. Shock, it was just shock she kept trying to tell herself. So she tried to calm herself, regulate her breathing like that bitch Amanda had forced her to learn, it didn't help.

In the corner she shook, hands clenched in her hair, face against the wall, eyes squeezed shut.

She couldn't. She couldn't be this person. Sure they were alive, but only just. Innocent people. Innocent.

Eyes turning she spotted her clothes, ripped from her body, splattered in their blood. Innocent blood. She wouldn't be a murderer, couldn't. She couldn't take the lives of people, people like her parents.

Gasping for breath, chest heaving again, she clenched her hair tighter, pulling it at the roots, welcoming the pain and considering grabbing a knife the slice into her skin, anything to numb the pain in her heart.

Something wrapped around her arm, firm. She gasped and cried out, swinging, flashing back to unknown men groping her. Another hand caught her wrist until she saw his calm face. All she could do was stare at him with wide eyes. Without any words he came closer, she pulled back, scared, sinking into the corner.

"Shhhh," Thom said gently and released her wrist to slid it under her knees which were pulled up to her chest. Her hand came at his chest, pushing at it, but no where near as forcefully as she could have. "Trust me, you're fine. I promise." He glanced down as he lifted her, noting how her hand clenched his shirt instead now. One small clue that she had given up the fight.

Cool sheets touched back and he was pulling away, soft eyes watching her. "No," she begged, voice shaking. Hand tightening on his shirt and holding him close. What Alex needed was to be out of Division, but in there, trapped, Thom was her only comfort, her only safety.

"I'm not going. I swear." Slowly she nodded and he moved away.

Curling on her side and gripping the sheets she continued to heave, fighting the nausea that threatened her. It didn't really matter, she'd already thrown up what filled her stomach. Something cool touched her face and her eyes shot to him, leaning over her. A moist trail was left behind, and as his hand moved to her arm she caught sigh of the pinkish tinge to the white towel, blood. Not hers. Theirs. Instead of pulling away she remained still, shaking, letting him wipe the traces of blood away. It took only seconds. He stood, placed the towel to the side and came back

With a frown he sat at her side and pulled the blankets up over her nearly bare body. What he should have done was report her, tell them that she didn't handle it, but he couldn't do that to her. Not her. "Close your eyes." But she shook her head and he didn't argue, he couldn't imagine her just sleeping. Her jaw shook, teeth chattering.

"Cold," Alex whispered, burrowing further into the bed.

"It's the shock." He reached out, cradling her cheek and brushing away her air.

"I can't take it," her teeth hurt, her body shook, stomach rolled, head pounded. It reminded her of withdrawal, but with added guilt. Reaching her hand out from under the covers she gripped his leg, digging her nails into it, needing the contact.

"You trust me right?" Her head nodded shakily. She was so jittery around him normally when things were to close, he hoped he wasn't making a mistake. "Okay." Toeing off his shoes he lifted the covers, revealing her body to him. Although he didn't give an external reaction, internally he tensed. Her safety, care and need came first. So he fought the reaction to her body, clad only in a bra and panties, and steeled himself to what he was about to do. It was bad enough seeing it, touching it was a whole different story. Slowly, he slid into the bed next her her, slightly shocked she didn't pull away, and pulled the covers back up, wrapping an arm around her waist, sliding another under her head, threading his fingers into her hair, and pulling her against him.

In the back of her head she marveled at the fact that she allowed him this close, his body against hers, touching her more intimately then anyone had, in a very long time. Regardless of the feelings they fought for one another, Thom was a friend first, and sometimes her protector. He looked out for her, covered for her, even though he shouldn't have been, even though he didn't always know what he was covering. He was to good for his own good, and sometimes it broke her heart, but this time she only pressed closer, grateful to have him there with her. Division was hard enough as it was, if he hadn't been there, she didn't want to imagine her life. So she clung to him, grasping his shirt in one hand, sliding one arm around his waist, inching closer and pressing against him, stealing his warmth. Without thinking she slid her hand up the back of his shirt and buried her face in his neck. There, with her eyes closed, under the cover of her blankets, his hard body against her, the wall at her back, she could block some if it out, for a little while. Instead of focusing on what happened she focused on Thom. His hand on her back, his thumb rubbing her scalp, the feel of his back against the palm of her hand, his smell, it surrounded her. Without thinking she slid a leg towards him, knee bumping his, and scooted closer, plastering her body against his own, her hips against his.

"You're going to be fine," he said absently, trying to think of anything to say to counteract what was running through his head. It had been to long since he had been so focused on one woman, but even when he had been it hadn't been like this. He hadn't been scared for anyones life like he was for her, hadn't been scared for their sanity. When he was in a room with Alex he wanted to be near her, when they were alone he wanted to touch her. And now with her body plastered against his, barely clothed, his mind strayed to other things he wanted to do. He wanted to pull her hair gently, tilting her head up for a kiss, he wanted to roll her over, slid between her leg and press himself against her.

"Am I?" Alex asked fearfully, lifting her face to meet his. He nodded, face so impassive and calm, she wasn't sure how he did it. Without thinking, she lifted her chin, finding his lips and sighing, pleasure warming her body as his face pressed closer, lips closing over her own.

All thoughts of propriety and her safety flew out the window. Thom pulled her closer with his hand on her waist, leaned in further, rolling her partially onto her back, and kissed her deeper, guiding her mouth open with his tongue. She made a soft sound in the back of her throat, thrusting her hips against him, rubbing. Her body was soft and pliable as he ran his hands over it. Over her hips, up her sides, brushing his thumbs over the sides of her breasts. Pressing a hand against her lower back he pressed her hips against his. She moaned, rolling her hips against his. Quickly, he was hardening, straining. Thom wanted her, that went without saying. There were so many reasons that he shouldn't, but he did. Moving his hand up he stopped at the clasp of her bra, thumb brushing over where it joined, considering how easy it would be to pinch and release. "Alex," he whispered against her lips and pressed his forehead against hers. Slowly her eyes opened, bloodshot and hazy. They focused quickly, widening, and then he felt her hand on his chest pushing him away. "Wait," he said gently and grasped her wrist.

"No, I get it." His body didn't budge though. Sure, she could have flipped him, but mentally and physically she was just to tired and in her current state she suspected he probably could have stopped her. "Let me go." Because she didn't want to see the pity in his eyes, be rejected. It was just another blow.

"No," Thom responded firmly. "I know what you're doing. I'm not going to be the way you forget." She looked away, turning her head. Thom sigh, damning the situation he had found himself in. Nothing was ever easy, especially now with Alex. He knew little of her past, but he suspected it was the cause of how wary she was of him. The last thing he could do was worsen that because of one reckless night. "I want you," he said with some fear and brought a hand up to her face to force her to face him. "Just not like this. Okay?"

Slowly she nodded, seeing the truth in his eyes. Thom was to honest, it's what drove her to him. He didn't belong in a place like this, he didn't deserve her lies. If there was anything that made her feel guilty about her double agent status, it was Thom. Slowly she nodded and then his hands loosened on her wrist and cheek. As his thumb brushed gently over her cheek she relaxed and fought against the urge to lift her face towards his again. But he closed the distance for her, lips touching her own in a gentle kiss. It was sweet, to sweet, and she didn't deserve it. A girl like her didn't deserve him.

Without another word he settled back onto his side, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her with him. To his relief Alex didn't fight him and instead pressed closer. Thom sighed, pressing a kiss to her hair and tucking her head beneath his chin. She fit there, it felt right, even if everyone outside the room wouldn't think so.


End file.
